I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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