ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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