Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
