wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
