Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
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Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
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Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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