Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
