i think i have two assholes
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
