your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Randomize
