I puked a lego.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
