She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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