Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
