How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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