So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
