They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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