I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
