a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
