her vagine was all disorganized.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
