I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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