I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
