How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
