Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
