Just fell off a train. Bad.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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