party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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