3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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