I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
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Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
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I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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