So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
