That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I didn't notice because vodka
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
