That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
