His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
