i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
