Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
