Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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