bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You were trust falling into bushes
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
