Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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