Slut skills are useful in every country.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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