My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Randomize
