Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
