Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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