So gin and wine won't be happening again
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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