she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
