We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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