i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
