After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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