People in love make me want to vomit
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
