Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
