Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
