I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
