forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize