I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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