totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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