lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
