I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You pole danced in your parka.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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