No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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