Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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