Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
