And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Randomize
