I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
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We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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