Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
