so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
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