i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
